


I'm Broken

by Takianna



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-14
Updated: 2014-04-14
Packaged: 2018-01-19 09:11:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1463794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Takianna/pseuds/Takianna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one can see the pain which flows through Obi-wan's veins after the death of his master.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Broken

What if I told you that fear isn't real? 

I'm broken and there is no way to fix me. My body, battered and unable to continue. There is no one left to pick of the pieces of my lonely existence. Minor fixes to the body do nothing to soothe my soul. A soul which has been left for dead. Bleeding from the inside, but never showing through to the outside.

Do you know what it feels like?  
To be broken and used  
Scared and confused  
Yes, I know. 

I put on a jovial face. Warning off others with humor and smiles. I don't want them too close. What happens to them when they are too close, I cannot bear. This soul is empty, but still no vacancies for those who would like to get close. My eyes stare blankly past anyone who I come in contact with now. They cannot understand where my pain comes from and where it remains. I'm afraid if they look into my eyes they will see the emptiness I now feel inside.

The pain continues to punish my body from the inside out. Never relenting. Returning back to the day, when cradled in my arms, you took leave of this galaxy. When you made me promise, to the best of my ability, I would not leave your new found prodigy behind. Made me promise to do what you would never have a chance to do.

Now as I wander the halls of the immense temple, I wonder where you are. Are you hiding just around the corner, out of reach. Somewhere I can't find you? I feel you there, but you truly aren't.

I break down, sometime sobbing into a darkened room. No one there to hear my pain. No one there to comfort me. No one there to remember what you meant to the jedi. And still the pain inside eats at me everyday. Everyday you are gone is one day closer to forgetting just who you were. I can't stand the idea and I continue to keep your memory alive inside me.

I can never be what you were. There were many things you taught me which I find hard to pass along to the boy who I now guide. I can't possibly do this all on my own, but asking for help is showing weakness. I know the teachings and I should be rejoicing your ascension into the force. I can't. Don't ask me to. The pain is too great. I mourn you. I believe, I'm the only one.

Still looking into my padawan's face, I see what you must have seen in him. There is something, something very special about him. Although he is rough around the edges and needs to learn his place, I'm sure he will grow up to be what you expected he would be in the end. My training may not be everything yours was to me, but I'm sure he will continue along his destined path. Balance may return to the force and we will all rejoice.

Still I find it hard to rejoice. I'm broken and there is no way to fix me.


End file.
